Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Debate on Marriage

Interesting to read the debate about marriages in the papers recently.

Some folks propose co-habitation or polygamy as alternatives to marriage. This reminded me of another article some time back on the institution of marriage, where given same sex marriages and baby adoptions, the concept of marriage as something between a man and woman is crumbling.

I think all these debates didn't delve into an important point which is that marriage is really between the individuals. Slamming either gender by the entire group cos of actions by individuals in the gender group is not helpful. People stray, yes they do. People having multiple partners in addition to their spouse, yes they do. But that doesn't make the entire man or woman grp as strayers or people who forget their marriage vows. Colouring the whole debate as man wins or woman wins, morally or legally, still doesn't question the purpose of marriage. Giving reasons like the particular husband's bed performance is unskilled or that man in general has greater tendency to stray doesn't help.

People stray for many reasons, many of which would never be understood totally by others who are not involved. Straying also takes many forms, from 'bioing' a chio bu who walk past to actually having bed activities with a girl (not your wife) whom you love deeply too. Polygamy or co-habitation could be options for some groups, not neccessary useful for everybody. A person with tendency to stray, will stray, whether he is currently staying with his girfriend (co-habit) or has 10 wives. Errr by 'he' i meant both groups, not just guys.

As for my views? Hmm, have fun in whatever ways you need before you say the marriage vows... then you would have truly understood the other alternatives and acknowledge that these alternatives are not meant for you, or else don't get married. This is also useful as you proceed into marriage life later and temptations start, you would truly know the consequences before either rejecting these 'opportunities' or accepting them.

So singles....ahve fun, truly, in whatever ways you that if one day you do say 'I do' to somebody, there is no nagging feeling of 'what if'....

Oh, I also dunno what's the purpose of marriage....if I do get married one day (big if....), I'll know...

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